Common Misconceptions: Stop your shit, people.

ImageI think that one of the greatest misconceptions of our generation and of social media, is that somehow being rude to people intentionally is cool. Now this may sound neckbeardy as get all-but hear me out. If someone says hello to you and is genuinely being nice or what have you – how do you respond? Well, where I come from you say hello back and let that be that. Small talk won’t kill you, but being snide and rude for no other reason than it being exactly what you are will kill your social standing, and trust me when I say this as a twenty-four year old man who’s learned little more than Jon Snow: No one will really like you. I mean that. No one wants a Debby Downer and no one wants a hardhearted asshole as a friend.

Yes, you may have good intentions, that’s nice. There’s this SoHo mentality that some people didn’t leave in High School that, somehow, rude and bitchy is cool. It’s not. It’s just what it is; rude and bitchy. If someone texts me, I don’t greet them with a “Why are you talking to me?” I great it as a “Oh, hey, what’s up?” Then I move on with my day, and if they’re making idle conversation and not making transgressions I treat is as such. It’s called connection and humility, and in this day and age, it’s something that we’re in severe lack of.

I see it all the time, on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram where some people may genuinely be trying to be nice and it’s responded to in a manner that really makes me question why I follow this people to begin with. Maybe it’s my Southern roots, or maybe it’s the fact that I don’t want to be known as some kind of prick. Maybe that’s just me.
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So, women – I’m going to be blunt in saying that if you don’t want creepers messaging you and/or following you then stop taking selfies with your duckface, wipe off that shitting Wal-Mart make-up and act like an adult, otherwise you’re going to get creeps and jerks. This is one case where I can definitely point out that “attention-whore seekers are asking for attention.” Not rape (because no matter what, to the assholes that would ever commit such an inept and horrid act, she’s never asking for it. Jerk off at home, you pevs). This isn’t Gossip Girl, and you’re not a billionaire in Manhattan.Image Oh, and not everyone wants to get in your pants – trust me, I’ve thought the same thing about myself for years.

And guys, if a girl doesn’t want to talk to you then don’t blow up her message inbox with violent or abrasive comments. It’s useless and you’re only being a jerk. In fact, take a step back from sending that message and think about what you’re writing. Would you like for someone to send that to your sister? No? Then don’t send it. Same goes for creepiness. There are acceptable levels of interaction for commonplace parlance and calling someone your “foo-foo fluffy kitty,” and “real-life Felicia Day.” (For the record, even if they were your real-life Felicia Day, your life would be canceled. You don’t want that…Do You?” So for the ab-toting idiots? Put a shirt on, and not TapOut…Never TapOut. For the fedora-flakes? Shave your neck, and take off that goddamned fedora. Only Bogart and Bear Bryant get to rock the creepcap and not be creepy.

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See this? No one likes you if you are like this. So stop it.

To everyone else? Thanks for reading. Have a great, – wait. No. Have an American night.

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