Don’t Stop Me Now: Six Reasons to Hate John Boehner.

John Boehner: Full of shit, visits tanning salons more than most Oompa Loompas, bullheaded, fundamentally a failure at understanding the common man. Friend to Newt Gingrich, and severe pain in lady liberal’s ass.. The newly appointed Speaker of the House is a dumbass, more so than Nancy Pelosi. Here’s six reasons to hate the cockass.

6: Friend to Newt Gingrich.

Sonofabitch, is there no justice on the planet? Gingrich is a liar, thief, and long has he stood as opposition to liberal thinking and ideas. He also believes in high-taxation on the middle class, yet refuses himself to pay taxes. He also followed suite of trying to force a President out of office. Which President? I’ll give you a hint; it wasn’t the one who destroyed our economy, got us into two unpopular wars, raped human rights and fundamentally destroyed the rite of our nation. No, it was the one who got his dick sucked and lied about it. Big. Fucking Whoop. Anyway, Gingrich and Boehner are pals, so that’s a reason to hate him.

5: He’s from Ohio.

Fuck Ohio. Fuck the Buckeyes, and fuck Cleveland. Nothing good comes from Ohio, and their greatest contributions to America have been old, fat white people and a football team that everyone hates. ‘Nuff said.

4: Tanning salons

The guy has orange skin, why isn’t anyone asking this Republican for his green card?

3: He’s a sissy

Boehner has cried on national television more than most soap stars. He cries when America is happy, he bawls when America is sad, and whimpers and pouts when America at her first prom, and he shed the man tear when she graduated from a Republic to a Plutonomy. This guy seriously cries, and that’s generally understandable but not when he cries out of his own rage fits. Which brings me to my next point…

2: Hell no he can’t.

This guy’s got serious anger-management problems. He screamed on national television “hell no you can’t!” Seriously, what was it that we couldn’t do? Understand why he was yelling? Sure it was supposed to be over the healthcare reform, but I think it’s because he never really liked the timeless creed stolen from Bob the Builder; “Yes we can.”


He doesn’t care about you, he doesn’t represent you, in fact he wouldn’t even like you. Why? Because he’s a conservative. Which means he believes in the “I’ve got mine” taxation spirit. Cheers to you, John Boehner, you retarded oompa-loompa looking dickhead. I really hope this guy never runs for office again, I just can’t stand having Jersey Shore’s latest cast member as Speaker of the House. For rizzle.

"Who the hell cares about the middle-class?" Not pictured: Someone who does.


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