After taking a week to recharge my batteries (I watched movies, television, got a tattoo and smoked a lot of cigarettes) I’m back. I’ve talked on the subjects of marijuana, movies, tv, music, hipsters, Iran, commies, Teabaggers and yet I’ve neglected one huge topic that everyone’s always talking about: Gay-marriage.
Personally, I see it this way: If anyone should not be allowed to marry, it’s Baptists. Now that being said, I don’t think anyone should be denied the right of marriage, lack of trust, boredom and eventual depravity. However, seeing it from the perspective of the good Christian people of America (which I’ll show how much truth there is to that statement) we can look at it in lights that are not normally shown. Let me simply say this, even if we don’t allow them this contract of horror, they’re still going to be doing the things you don’t want them to: Like limiting your gun rights, taking your children, and teaching us of the ideas of Muslam.
First, we take the ideas of the good Christian people of The United States of America into consideration. The Bible tells us that homosexuals are bad, evil degenerates and that they’ll be sent to Hell for their buttfucking ways. The Bible also speaks of talking snakes, corners of the Earth and Ronald Reagan. That being said we can safely assume that it’s absolutely true, but wait there’s more! See, theres a piece of the constitution that says explicitly that there is no official religion of the state. Now while the majority of you are probably new at hearing this let me speak frankly: YOUR RELIGION DOES NOT, AND SHOULD NOT HAVE A SAY IN WHAT LAWS ARE PASSED. So, in case you didn’t get what I meant by that I’ll say it more simply; Fuck off. It’s not like any priests have ever been gay…or congressmen…or husbands…Okay that last one’s a lie. It’s a fact that all of Vermont is gay and male and married. Whoops.
Well, there’s not really any other way of looking at it from a different perspective (Unless you include the whole “fundamentals of family and marriage” and in case you’ve never known this either; Marriage was a property contract. Your daughter’s vagina for our money.) So there you have it folks! Homo’s in the streets begging for change, I say let them eat their meat.