Land of Race Car Ya-Yas.

NASCAR is fucking hilarious. I mean, yeah I understand the thrill of watching a bunch of drunks  driving their supped-up cars at 345 mph. It’s fun for the whole crowd, unless you’re the guy who’s  walking through the room where these same drunks are watching NASCAR on the boob  tube…Then it’s only fun if you get what you ask for. (Can you guess?)

Then again, we are the same country that teaches our children two fundamental truths: Girls must either weigh 90 lbs and look like Paris Hilton, or act like a porn star by the time that they’re  16 (blowjob kit comes standard after 1st period). For guys you must kill animals with a gun, drink  cheap beer and play handegg. I can’t dig that we have no real rights of passage.

Every culture has their own forms of rights to adulthood. In the United States we have chosen a few select instances where you done growned up. For boys, it’s getting your driver’s license (lame). Girls have it easy, they just have to be pregnant. I guess everyone missed the memo of “Hey uhm…Didn’t Jesus say-” ‘JEEZUS SAID GO FORTHS AND BE FROOTFUL. WUT ARE YUNS? A FAGGIT?! MAKE ME A BURR WOMUN.”

Yeah. Nevermind. Fucking Land of Race Car Ya-Yas.


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