I can’t believe it’s not rock!

I hate MTV, I hate all of the pre-made Myspace Music Hottopic cookie-cutter bands that you’re listening to, and I hate the radio. That being said, I want to know where my rock and roll is! Goddammit, a generation being raised on bands that you don’t remember in fifteen minutes! So what’s the answer? Is rock dead, or is it lurking in its heroin-den waiting to pounce on us any minute. Time will certainly not tell.

When John Lennon died everyone boohooed over a “rock God.” Let me be clear, Lennon was not rock-nor was he a God. Lennon and the rest of the Beatles were great…at doing whatever the hell kind of music your mushroom loving ass enjoys and they were great at inspiring Japanese game-makers to develop Super Mario Bros., but they were not rock. (Although, they certainly did a great job at living the rock-life style, I’ll give ’em that)

You know, we stifled the resurrection of rock back in 2004 when The Darkness    released Permission to Land and the single “I believe in a thing called love.” Now  that, my beady-eyed friends, was rock. But I think we expected too much out of  the poor lil’ Brits broke up in 2006 over too much face-time and too little cocaine.

We’re left here and now with cookie-cut-outs of what bands should be and not what they were supposed to be. I’m sorry if I offend (pffffffft) but Justine Bieber is not rock, he’s not even a he as far as I can tell. Lady GaGa…is the new Cher-not rock. I don’t enjoy The Devil Wears Burberry or whatever they’re called, and while Metal music is doing fine thanks to the McDonald’s employers worldwide. But where is my Rock and Roll?

I pray for all of us that it isn’t, otherwise Myspace Music will be ruining further generations for years. Fuck that. Yes some great bands are out there, such as power-group Bang! Camaro, Wolfmother and the Kings of Leon, but nothing like Zeppelin, Queen, Bowie or the Nuge.

Inject this into your brains society. We need it.

We need a Bowie intervention, that’s what we need! If Bowie would just lend us his sex-in-human-form powers and blow our minds with his alien skills maybe, just maybe rock and roll would live. Either that, or it’s truly a bygone era. I don’t want to accept that rock and roll has gone the way of the vinyl, VCR, Nickelodeon being good and awesome.

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